A couple days ago I started not feeling very good and I was like what the heck I thought you healed me God!!! I felt like I was getting a kidney infection and I was very confused because that is how my addiction to pain medication started I kept getting painful kidney infections and kidney stones. I thought I was done going to the Dr. so WHY is this happening God!! I was not getting any better so I decided I would make a appointment with the Dr. I called and was so happy that my primary care Dr. had a open appointment that same morning. I thought I would just go get a antibiotic and everything would be better and no one would know I went to the Dr. anyway well except my husband and a few special people I asked to pray for me. I went to my Dr. and he said I didn’t have a infection. I figured God was just testing me and I would feel better since I passed the test and plus I had a great talk with my Dr. who happens to be a wonderful Christian man. I went home and I just kept feeling worse and worse so I went to Urgent Care and when I got there I could not bring myself to go in cause I was embarrassed and plus I was supposed to be healed. I went back home and I still was not feeling good AT ALL so I went to the Emergency Room and it was SO crowded and I felt REALLY uncomfortable being there I felt like everyone was looking at me and Judging me so I told them I was leaving and I would call my Dr. back in the morning. After feeling like crap all night I called my OBGYN because something was clearly wrong and I was getting really cranky but they had no available appointments and said I should go to Urgent Care. I had no choice I had to go before things got really bad. I prayed the whole way there because I was embarrassed and nervous. I got there and told the nurse my symptoms and she said I should probably go to the E.R. and I said I really don’t want to go there and I told her I was a addict and addicted to pain medicine for 10 years and she was really awesome and said I could stay there and see a Dr. I figured everything would go perfectly smooth I mean after all I was totally honest about everything. I even told the nurse that I thought it was good that I was there because now they have it on file that I am a recovering addict and she thanked me for being honest about everything. Then when the Dr. came in I suddenly felt very uncomfortable he was clearly in a very bad mood and I felt like he was treating me bad and I was so confused and I asked if I could see a different Dr. and he said NO I WANT YOU TO LEAVE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so confused SO VERY CONFUSED. I told the nurse he asked me to leave and I went out to my car and just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Then I got really depressed and instantly had thoughts of hurting myself. Then I was just plain MAD!!! I actually went to the police station and told a officer EVERYTHING my addiction and the one time I go to the Dr. and NOT even trying to get pain medicine and this is how I get treated and that he should go back there with me and tell the Dr. off. Oh boy!!! That officer was SO awesome he got me all calmed down then he said you really need to take care of your health you should go to the E.R. again and I was like ummmm NOT A CHANCE. I thanked him for his kindness and left. I went back to Urgent Care and I was still fuming but I needed to know if I had a infection so I could get a antibiotic. Luckily that same nurse was there and she said I could see that Dr. again. I had really no other choice at this point but I was still mad. I had just wasted 6 hours and it was my daughters birthday and Joe was missing work. So I waited and waited and I my impatience got the better of me and I walked out again. Luckily the Nurse came out and said come on Angela take a deep breath and go back in he is a really good Dr. and very good with the patients. Anyways I went back in and when the Dr. came back in I instantly felt God say now today was a true test. I totally relaxed and the DR. was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, yes it was the same Dr. We had a EXCELLENT EXCELLENT talk and I indeed did have a kidney infection and I already feel better I got a antibiotic and I already feel a little better right now. God taught me SOOOOOOOOOO much today!! I would not change anything about today. I learned that Doctors have bad days too!!!!!! He admitted he was in a hurry and not very understanding with me the first time he saw me this morning. God confirmed to me again that HIS plans are not always the same as our plans. I lam learning that it is okay to be upset and angry if you do it in a healthy way. I am learning that I will never be healed until I am in Heaven and that it okay to need to see a Dr. for good reasons. God put that Nurse in my path today because if wasn’t for her things may have turned out very differently. God IS in control and no matter how bad we want things to always go smooth they DON’T always go smooth. I am glad I was honest about my past and I am glad I went back in there to get the help I needed. My primary Dr. asked me just yesterday if I was ready for the HARD Days. It is okay to have hard difficult emotional days. Yes I know this is all ran together and no I do not proof read my writing because it is right from my heart and I don’t want to change anything I already wrote besides you can’t change your past you can only try to improve your future!!! God Bless!!
Way to BE Angie! Good girl! And thanks, I needed that too!
wow! if that were me, I wouldn’t have acted the same as you. You are truly a good person and willing to go thru what ever to make it to the top. I would have never went back to that doctor. I am amazed at how well you did after being so upset. You see, when you got God on your side, you don’t need anything else. I too have to remember this and practice it as well. Good for you Angie, YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!!! <3
Do not apologize for your writing/grammar etc. You are writing from the heart and that’s what it’s all about. Thank you for being so open and honest with all of us and please continue to share.
You were definitely being tested today! I am glad you went back. It’s amazing to me the people God puts in your path! The Angels walk with you sister you just can’t see them!!! Love you hun!