Be still and know that I am God!! I felt like God wanted me to deactivate my Facebook account for awhile. I knew it was addicting and I did not want anything distracting me from hearing God’s quiet voice so Sunday Morning I did it. Immediately after I did it I felt SO peaceful and I felt God’s presence so strong. It was a amazing feeling way better than being high on pain medicine.  I started thinking about my life. I had a hard life. I was bullied in school and I hated myself I wanted to die when I was 11 years old. The school told my Mom that if she didn’t send me to a “mental’ hospital to “get some help” then she would be the one that was responsible if I did kill myself. So off I went for 6 weeks. I didn’t want to go but I didn’t want to stay home either. I was a very unhappy little girl. The teachers told my classmates parents that they probably should not let their kids be around “Angie Arsnoe” because I was “sick” One teacher even told a fellow classmates parents that I was raped. I was actually molested yes but  not raped at that point. I did have some friends don’t get me wrong but just wanted to DIE. I begged God to let me die. When I was in the hospital for 6 weeks I really learned how to self harm and all the other “sick” stuff that I have been labeled with. I was VERY VERY VERY medicated at that point and basically they did not know what to do with me so they sent me home with all my PILLS xanax and all. I went back to school for awhile but I just could not take it so my Mom home schooled me. I mostly went to work on the farm full time. I liked being on the farm. I had all boy cousins but I loved my cousins they never teased me and we got along great for the most part. I had a teacher that I would see once every couple weeks. When I was about 13 I became interested in alcohol and I knew people who would buy it for me if I would do stuff for them. YEAH NOT COOL!!! From then on my life was addiction after addiction after addiction. My dream was to have a Godly husband who would treat me like a princess and I wanted to have some really cute little girls. 🙂 But I knew it would never happen because I was bad and dirty. Then life went on from there with me hanging on by a thread. I spend more time in “mental” hospitals and went to church as often as I could (would). I know my Mom prayed for me all the time. She is a amazing Godly woman and I pretty much made her life VERY hard, but I know she continued to pray for me. Okay that is a tiny bit of my history.  Back to here and now. After I deactivated my facebook God just started speaking to me and I could feel HIS arms wrapped around me. Here are some of the stuff I heard from God. “What satan intended to harm God intended for good.”  “I healed you and you had to walk through the darkness to get to the light.” “It was not your plan but it was MY plan.” God broke the chains and set me free and I would not change anything I went through in my life.  I believe Everything in my life happened for such a time is this. I also believe it is time to decide if you want to walk in the light or the darkness. God healed me but I have to wake up everyday and choose not to touch substances of any kind. I can’t have sugar or caffeine or I will be in pain. I  have to do my exercises or I will be in pain. (read my previous post) But God gets ALL the glory for healing me. We have to do our part to though. For the first time in my life I do NOT want to die. I Love my life. I am truly happy!! I feel ALIVE!! I would not be here today if it was not for my husband listening to God’s quiet voice telling him that I am the one he is to marry and that it would be hard for a time. I Love my husband so much and Thank God for him and my 2 beautiful girls!!! God told me I could turn my Face book back on now and use it cautiously.